Are you and your Child Speaking in Different Languages?
What is Your Communication Style with Your Child?
Parents have different relationships with their kids. Sometimes that relationship is driven by the communication style both parent and child use.
It’s important to know and understand your communication style because it could be the cause of stress with your child. Let’s dig in and look at your communication style!
Parents’ Communication Styles
It might be maddening, but parents and guardians all over the world, struggle with communicating with their children. It can be even more painful if your partner speaks the language you are so desperate to master!
Since there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, you might need to adjust your parenting styles to meet your child's need for love, attention, and encouragement.
Adolescence is a stage that inspires children to seek their own interests, friends, dreams, and goals. Nonetheless, they also have moments of weakness or confusion when they need to talk with an adult.
If you’re easy to relate with and often available, you may be lucky to be that adult your child choose to open up to.
But do you threaten, criticize, lecture or talk non-stop? That might close the door to an open dialogue.
What types of communicators exist and which one do you lean towards as a parent and as a person?
3 Communication Styles Common to Parents
· The Director – When you speak, you dominate the conversation, and people naturally listen to you. Since you have a dominating personality, people see you as a leader. Regardless, it’s advisable to let someone else have the floor from time to time. The take charge personality might lead you to miss what people are saying.
· The Realtor – In conversations, you listen more than you speak, and this makes people admire you. They appreciate this about you, as it allows them to speak until they feel better. While this is good, you should also express your thoughts. You don’t want to listen at the expense of having your say.
· The Thinker – Even before a discussion begins, you already know what to say and how to say it. Your plan works so well that you say the right thing every single time. At least, you think you say the right thing every time. How often are you leading the conversation with your expectations? It’s ok to not have the perfect thoughts all the time, try letting the other person surprise you.
How Do the 4 Popular Parenting Styles Affect Communication Styles?
There are four common parenting styles. These styles are closely related to the communication styles used by most parents.
1. Authoritative Parenting – In terms of communication, your child can speak to you openly without the fear that you’ll judge or castigate him/her. You are firm yet open to hearing the other sides of the argument.
2. Permissive Parenting – Parents who use this style work with few rules and prefer to make their children happy instead of rock the boat. Being your child’s best friend may cause your leadership to questioned in conversations.
3. Authoritarian Parenting – Strict rules, punishment, and harsh tones produce shy and intimidated teens. This might lead them to speak up less often about what happens in their lives.
No question, parenting can be tough. Communication can keep your child connected to you even in the toughest situations.
Why is open communication important?
· Expressive kids are more confident
· They perform better in the studies
· Teens who communicate freely with their parents provide support to other friends
· Studying and preparing for college becomes less daunting
· Teens who communicate clearly with their parents become successful, ambitious adults.
The Bottom Line
Communication can be tough, and the stakes are high when we are talking about our kiddos.
I’m so excited to cover this in my upcoming workshop- The Homework Playbook. If you want to rebuild your relationship with your child, sign up for details now!
Marni Pasch | Team Pasch Academic Coaching
I work with students in grades 6th and higher, who struggle with academic confidence and motivation. I help them survive school with less stress by helping them create concrete goals, tackle procrastination and learn creative study techniques. I empower students to take charge of their education and reach their goals. I do this through individual or group coaching so students achieve success in life, school, career readiness and their social endeavors.