How to identify and maximize your child’s strengths
How to identify and maximize your child’s strengths
How can you identify your teenager’s strengths and help them use them to their advantage? Can your child be too awesome? Do you know what to do if they aren’t using their strengths in the right situations?
Helping your child maximize their awesome qualities is an excellent way to learn balance especially if they’re struggling with fitting into school.
Many parents appreciate their kids’ level of curiosity, love for others, or meticulous nature. But it’s often difficult to understand these strengths in light of their struggles at school.
How do you help your child tune into these amazing qualities at the right places? Consider the examples below.
Curtailing Curiosity
For me, my curiosity has always been a thing. I’ve always had a reason to question things and know why things are the way they are. And the only way to get me to stop asking questions was to provide sensible answers to my questions. Makes sense right? Unfortunately, that is not everyone’s belief.
Inasmuch as curiosity was my strength, I was overdoing it, and it became a flaw. In class, I would always ask waaaay too many questions. I’d notice other students rolling their eyes because I was making them spend more time in class- but I couldn’t stop myself. Not even social cues could stop my mouth from opening. Curiosity is a good trait, but even the best qualities need to be moderated.
Since social interactions are essential for students, knowing the right situations to express their strengths matter. An overuse could lead to social isolation.
Cornell Notes became my solution as an adult even though I used them quite differently. I had to use Cornell notes in the work setting too. In the corner of my notes, I wrote down the bubbling ideas and questions I had. Next, I decided who I was going to ask each question or if Google could provide the answers I needed. Using Cornell notes helped me to tone down my curiosity so that I was aware of how other people felt. Largely, it helped me control a strength which many perceive as a weakness.
Want to learn more about how Cornell notes helped me as an adult?
Listen to the Podcast School Counselor Gone Rogue by Clicking Below
Can a person be too social?
I’ve had many cases of teachers who would celebrate the work of certain students then go on to note that these kids were always talking to some other students or distracting the class.While the social skills of these kids are beneficial, they don’t fit all contexts. Using their social abilities in the right situations is as important as celebrating the strengths.You can help your kid learn time and place whether they’re being social or curious. And it’s not simply about telling them what to do. Take the time to give them perspectives. If you could present the perspective of the teacher or their classmates to them, they’d get it.
It all boils down to self-awareness. Your kid’s strengths are great but they need to know how other people interpret these strengths.One thing that works for me is helping students who are social butterflies to identify the class where they just can’t keep it down. Many times, such classes are boring or the students have a history with the teacher.I show them, through open conversations, the importance of being mindful of how they socialize in class. Next, I allow them to consider making different choices. This has worked for many of the students I work with.
In Closing
Finally, we’ll be addressing this topic in The Parent Lab so you might want to be a part of it. You’ll learn how to help your child identify contexts where they need to hold back their strengths.
Helping your child become more aware of their strengths and the right situations to use them is crucial. This level of emotional intelligence will enable them determine when to show a level of restraint and when to play full out.
I’d like to hear your ideas about tempering down strengths to fit contexts. Share them with me here.
This podcast on School Counselor Gone Rogue looks at:
· Why your kid needs to fit their strengths to different contexts
· How to help them identify the right situations to tone down their strengths
· The impact of self-awareness on your child’s growth.
Want to listen to my podcast School Counselor Gone Rogue?
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Marni Pasch | Academic Coach | Host of the Podcast School Counselor Gone Rogue | Team Pasch Academic Coaching
As a trained school counselor turned academic coach, I work with students in grades 6th and higher, who struggle with academic confidence and motivation. Together we create concrete goals, tackle procrastination and learn creative study techniques. My mission is to empower teenagers to thrive in school on their terms. Want to work together? Contact me for individual or group coaching so teens can achieve success in life, school, career, and their social endeavors. I provided in person academic coaching in Orlando, FL, but work with students across the country through Zoom!